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Cream of the Crop 20
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Cream of the Crop 20 (Terry Blount) (1996).iso
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FOVIRS
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1996-05-27
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Rey Barry's Freeware Hall of Fame
List of Politically Incorrect, High Sodium Viruses
(To be taken with grains of salt)
We begin with originals from the FreeHOF...
Bill Clinton Virus
Dormant aside from displaying message: UNDOING PREVIOUS DAMAGE.
Upon re-boot may reveal additional capabilities.
Ronald Reagan Virus
Trashes the system by confusing the commands of other viruses with
ROM instructions; incapacitates the RAM.
Ross Perot Virus
Announces over and over that it's running but has no effect.
Bill Gates Virus
Replaces your Operating System and applications with his Operating
System and applications.
TV Virus
Inserts 6 screens of brand name advertising after every 4 screens of
your text files.
Congress Virus
Appears to be dormant but is constantly adding extraneous functions to
your Operating System which require more resources than you have.
Newt Virus
Variant of the Congress Virus that disables important functions of
the Operating System without freeing up any resources.
Olympics Virus
Displays advertising on your screen while playing sound files of
repetitious platitudes over the PC speaker.
Newsgroup Virus
Sorts your text files by date and prepends random lines from earlier
messages to later ones, making them impossible to read.
Chinese Virus
Makes unauthorized copies of your CD-Roms.
Republican Virus
Diverts all the resources to 10% of the applications.
Democrat Virus
Creates endless applications for which there are insufficient
resources.
Libertarian Virus
Forces the computer to run with no CMOS settings.
New Age Virus
Deletes configuration and history files.
Reactionary Virus
Deletes all files with dates after 01/01/80.
Biblical Virus
Deletes all files with dates after 00/00/00.
Fundamentalist Virus
Deletes all versions of applications later than the 1st release.
Consultant Virus
Changes CMOS settings at random, scrambles the file allocation tables,
and posts message saying you need a new computer.
Wal-Mart Virus
Does everything other viruses do but requires less overhead.
K-Mart Virus
Early, less efficient version of Wal-Mart Virus.
Government Bureaucracy Virus
Over-writes Help files with, "This file was prepared at taxpayer
expense for the purpose of displaying its contents. For further
instructions, please turn the computer on and display the
instructions for turning computers on and displaying instructions."
The remainder of every file is multi-syllabic nonsense words.
Heroin Virus
Makes keyboarding so euphoric you become addicted to it. (Note: see
Netmail Virus.)
Netmail Virus
(See Heroin Virus.)
Cigarette Virus
Shrinks the diskspace allowed for a file allocation table by random
amounts; trashes table on some computers but not others.
Sportscaster Virus
Computes and reports nonsensical statistics about your files such as
how many under 50k were created on odd-numbered days of the month.
News Media Virus
Examines text files across a LAN for mis-spelled words and posts a
report to all work stations blaming the administrator for the errors.
Supermarket Tabloid Virus
Smaller version of News Media Virus that does not examine files and
posts a report using a random number.
Demo Virus
Displays a message that all applications will cease working in 30 days
unless you send $299 plus $2.99 S&H to a fictitious address. All
applications cease working 29.9 days later.
Free Enterprise Anti-Virus Virus
Protects the system against all viruses except those affecting the
file allocation table, partition table, CMOS, RAM, or files.
Retail Virus
Searches shareware files for prices and when it finds one, doubles
it.
Reverse Discrimination Virus
Deletes files written by white males.
Different Drummer Virus
Causes random damage 364 days a year but is dormant on Michelangelo's
birthday.
Jesus Virus
Posts message that all files have been saved, then deletes them.
Drive-by Virus
Destroys other viruses and whatever files are located near them.
German Virus
Destroys files. When aborted by operator, posts message saying it was
only following ROM instructions.
Italian Virus
Begins to destroy files but quickly self-destructs.
Intellectual Virus
Collection of configuration files and overlays coded to re-design the
operating system with mutually cancelling instructions. Harmless, as
it lacks executable code.
Voter Virus
Normally dormant TSR that emerges every 2 years to self-destruct.
(But see related Nixon Virus by same author.)
Nixon Virus
TSR tries to destroy the partition table and RAM until it over-writes
itself. Remains dormant until the Voter Virus restores it. Then
repeats the cycle.
Drunk Driver Virus
Erratically overwrites files including itself.
Ahab Virus
Hunts for programs designed to kill it and when it finds one, runs it.
(Also known as the Anna Karenina Virus, Dr. Jekyll's Virus, many other
names.)
Snail Darter Virus
Destroys every application when it is run, leaving nothing on the
harddrive except files not needed for anything.
Graft Virus
Taps system resources for the sole purpose of replicating itself in
the available space above other programs, hooking into them so it is
run when they are. (Also known as Labor Union Virus, NYC Virus,
Mafia Virus, Trade Association Virus.)
Luddite Virus
Analyzes program code and destroys programs not written in assembly
language.
Windows Virus
Slow loading TSR that adds a megabyte of poorly coded, ugly graphics
to programs and retards their execution speed.
Office of Education Virus
Converts numerical datafiles from base 10 to base 3.1414. Does not
disturb executables.
Office of Education Virus, variant
Converts number crunching programs to Reverse Polish notation. Does
not disturb documentation or help files.
College Virus
Re-allocates all resources to child applications.
FBI Virus
Scans across a LAN looking for an x-rated file and if it finds one,
destroys all files on the LAN and over-writes track 0 on all
harddrives.
Ann Landers Virus
Over-writes harddrives with inane platitudes and aphorisms.
PMS Virus
Displays message: DELETING UNNECESSARY DUPLICATE FILES, then deletes
all the important files on the harddrive not needed by itself.
Murphy's Law Virus
Like the PMS Virus but accidentally coded to delete itself first
instead of last.
QM Virus
Highly sophisticated programmer virus monitors code writing and
inserts a new bug when an old bug is removed.
ASP Virus
Writes hundreds of 1-line files telling you to read other files which
have 1 line telling you to read other 1-line files.
Shareware Virus
Over-writes files under 100k with message to register it to get your
files back. When you register, it over-writes all files with a
message selling an upgrade to the Pro version.
...and the USENET list of high sodium viruses...
Oprah Winfrey Virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly
expands back to 200MB.
AT&T Virus
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI Virus
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the
AT&T virus.
Paul Revere Virus
This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of
impending hard disk attack -- once if by LAN, twice if by C:\
Politically Correct Virus
Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an
"electronic microorganism."
Right to Life Virus
Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you
attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor
about possible alternatives.
Mario Cuomo Virus
It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
Ted Turner Virus
Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Dan Quayl